4.02.2014

Finding Peace...

 

I was thinking about my sign-off the other day: "Peace and Love". "Peace" can be such a cliche word and sometimes I think it can be used out of context. Peace is something that I am always seeking- peace of mind, peace in my heart, all of it. For about a year now I have been struggling with anxiety. I had never really had trouble with it in the past. Sure, I have had my struggles with perfectionism and ocd but I was never the type to get anxious about things. It started off where I would just notice it occasionally; I would feel my stomach start to hurt before big outings or projects at school. Then in December things started to get worse. I was having trouble with my heart racing where I couldn't breathe and I was getting horrible headaches. That's when I really started to worry. My anxiety had moved from the occasional event to me thinking that I was going to die every time I got into a car. Leading into 2014 things only went downhill: I was making myself feel sick every day to the point where it was debilitating. I won't go into the gritty details but let's just say it's been a big struggle and something that has been very hard for me to fight.  

While on Spring Break a few weeks ago I had a lot of time to think. And it kind of just hit me: I can control this! I didn't want to have to rely on medications and deal with the horrible side-effects only to hope that at some point my anxiety would get better. It was all that was in my head that was making me sick and I have the power to choose and listen to that voice or to silence it. Another thing that has really been helping me is to realize that God already has a specific plan for my life; He has already written my story. When God says it is my time to die it is going to happen and there is nothing that I can do about it. I can't live life in fear of things that will most likely not happen. Like my therapist told me, we face risks every time that we get out of bed in the morning. Life is full of risks and we can't escape them. 

I am happy to say that the past couple of weeks I have been doing really well. I have stopped taking my medication for now and am really working on fixing myself on the inside. I thought I would share a few things that I have been doing that have really helped. These are tips that I think would help anyone who deals with anxiety or even just the occasional stress. 

1. Yoga- This is such a great way to get in touch with your body and to calm and relax yourself. I do yoga breathing every morning when I wake up and it puts me in a great place to start my day and has made a huge difference. 

2. Diet- There are entire books on eating for anxiety and which foods help prevent it. Cashews and Blueberries are two foods that are pretty powerful in preventing anxiety. I have been snacking on both of those a lot recently! 

3. Positive Thinking- Positive quotes or verses really help when it comes to negative or anxious thinking. I have alerts set up on my phone throughout the day so that I am constantly reminded of God's plan for me and the fact that he is always in control.  

This isn't to say that my anxiety is completely gone. It's hard work but I am on my way to finding peace. It's also not to say that life will never be stressful but I want to get to a place where I am not constantly worrying and having that worry effect me physically. 

If you read this whole post you deserve something special. Thanks for sticking by me and listening to me ramble on. I don't often get this honest on the blog but I felt like sharing something that has played a big role in my life lately. 

I hope that you all have a wonderful Wednesday and I will be back on Friday with a more light-hearted post! 

Peace and Love, 
Em

13 comments:

  1. I'm glad to hear that you have found natural ways of controlling your anxiety. I too, sometimes struggle with anxiety. For me, it is when I allow myself to become really anti-social and I don't leave the house for days...it becomes harder and harder to even go to the grocery. I really have to make sure I keep myself busy, focused, and positive! You're absolutely correct. You must silence the garbage....and keep moving forward!

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    1. I agree- it definitely gets worse when you stay home a lot. Even the smallest tasks can seem so daunting. You just have to get to that point where you push yourself to go out and learn to ignore all the negativity.

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  2. Em, your honesty simply amazes me! I think by being so open & honest with your fans, you've opened a pathway for all of us to talk about issues that, in the past, people have chosen to either avoid the topic or not discuss because of various reasons (felt they were taboo). You've done this before when you wrote & spoke about your eating issue...you ARE taking control of your anxiety and that's very POSITIVE THINKING!
    God does have a plan for you and He has only your best interests at heart & hand. Rely on that thought...and I pray that you feel comforted by that single, and very powerful thought! Besides, I can't help but think He's already forging your life with all of your current struggles; you just have to trust Him to bring your through it. I have anxieties that I deal with....everyday! But life experience and knowing that God has only my best interest at heart...I feel as if I can do anything!
    I'm so very proud of you, kid! And I love you so very, very much! Aunt Dawn

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    1. Thanks, D. Your words are so encouraging and always leave me feeling positive. Thank you for your support and inspiration!

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  3. Aw, Ems. Thank you for being so honest and open about your struggle - you sweet thing. It sounds like you've found yourself in a positive place, though - looking to solve things naturally and in a God-honoring way. I'll be praying for you. You and this crazy, wonderful life God has planned out for you. Lots of love!!

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    1. Thanks so much Meghan! It's such a great feeling to know that I can share my struggles here on the blog and be met with such overwhelming support. Thanks for your love & kindness :)

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  4. Very insightful analysis of "peace." There certainly has been a resurgence in it's use and yet I'm sure many don't slow down to even recognize what it means. I think many of us in our 20's and early 30's may be experiencing anxiety for the first time so you're not alone and I think you're taking very healthy and logical steps to getting it under control. I've been meaning to get back into Yoga but you've helped me realize just how beneficial it is to your mental and physical health. No more putting it off, I've just gotta go for it!

    Best wishes!

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    1. Thanks! Yes, Yoga does wonders for the body and the soul. I had stopped doing it for a while and now that I've picked it up again I've fallen in love with it.

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  5. I used to suffer really hard from anxiety/agoraphobia/Panic attack. One Thing helpd me a lot, "natural calm" by natural vitality. It's a Magnesium powder. I don't really know the difference in all kind of Magnesium but this is the ONLY one that helped me to stay cool and calm. I wish you all the best hoping you will soon get out of this state. (sorry for my english...)

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    1. Wow, thank you so much for this suggestion! I'm glad that you were able to find something that worked so well for you and I'll definitely have to check it out.

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  6. thanks for being brave and posting this. i hope you can find some ways that can really help you remain calm when you feel the anxiety starting to rise. breathe in, breathe out. dwell on God's promises. don't beat yourself up if you have a really hard day. it's not about doing everything right every single day. will be thinking and praying for you. you are brave!

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  7. Thanks for the courage to share. Anxiety is a huge beast and it's SO EASY to let it get the best of us. But it's so true, God has a plan for us and if he can take care of the lilies of the field and the birds in the air, how much MORE does he take care of us. And again, SO EASY to forget this. I love the things you listed that are helping. I just went to an essential oils workshop this week. It's honestly so hippie (and I'm a self-proclaimed hippie) and some of it makes me roll my eyes, but there's also so many stories of how these have helped people without medical intervention that it may be something worth looking into. I'd recommend Young Living or DoTerra because they're both supposed to be really high quality.

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  8. I'm so glad to hear that you're figuring out strategies for working through it! When I went through a particularly anxious time, I'd fall asleep with worship music on repeat. And then during the day, I'd read, re-read, and doodle verses from Phil. 4:4-9, and 2 Sam. 22 everywhere. It really helped! And like you wrote, God has a plan for your life. He will bring you through this. Psalms were comforting to me too.

    xx- Lynn-Holly from The Attic

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